I’m constantly learning what it means to love another person deeply, and what it means to sincerely care for them.
I probably think a little too much — yeah, I definitely do — but my actions speak louder than my thoughts, and sometimes I really surprise myself. I realize in those moments how much I love Chris and how his love, a gift from God, is transforming me into someone I kind of like.
Example: we were visiting our families in Clarksville and staying the night. The plan was for me to stay at my mom’s house, in MY bed, and for Chris to stay with his parents. I was so excited about this for so many reasons — mostly, I just desperately needed to go home and regroup, and sleeping in my bed in my childhood room just sounded so good. I thought I needed it.
But then Chris ended up staying at my mom’s house pretty late, and before I knew it, my mom was offering him my bed and telling me I could sleep in her bed; she graciously offered to take the couch.
I was immediately fine with this. It didn’t occur to me until later that I was not going to get to sleep in my bed — something I thought I truly wanted and needed. This didn’t bother me, though, because Chris needed a place to sleep, and he would be more comfortable in my bed. For possibly the first time in my life, I put someone else’s needs ahead of mine without thinking about it.
Friends, this was HUGE.
Such a small thing was actually an enormous thing for me. Why? Well, I’m incredibly selfish, greedy, demanding and a million other terrible things. Thankfully, God loves me anyway, and so does Chris.
I typed this out because I want to remember exactly what happened…
I think this was a turning point for me, and for our relationship.
Love, love, love.